wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
