I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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