i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
