I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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