she woke up with a sticky ear
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
