This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
