is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
