I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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