Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
