Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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