Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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