I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so let's talk penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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