He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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