If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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