in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
