Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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