Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
