its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
