im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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