Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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