Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize