haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
