If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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