I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
