Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
