just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
