why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
