i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
