just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
