isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
