i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
