Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
the raccoons are back...
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