i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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