Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
