you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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