Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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