Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
