our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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