i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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