i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
