Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
