So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
