Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
