bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
