she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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