if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
