i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
