erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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