im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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