Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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