Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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