You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
