how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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