I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
