I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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