So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
