Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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