i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
