I like to think it a success when the cops are called
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
