Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this boner is exhausting
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
