Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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