just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
